Coaching and Getting Naked

The end of the year and the start of a new one always brings about the need for change. I have no idea why. It’s not like on January 1st your entire life changes and you need to be prepared. Most people journey from one year to the next pretty much in the same position with little changes happening everyday that you notice twenty years down the line. But, for whatever the reason, the changing of the year lights that fire under our bellies to change tactics and because I am a sheep, it got to me too.

In December one of my favourite Instagramers Harri Rose was offering free 20 minute coaching sessions. She is a Body Acceptance Coach, amongst many other strings to her bow, and offers a wide range of coaching options. I thought the 20 minute Skype session would be a great way to meet her, see what her coaching style is like and if coaching is something I would do long term. And boy howdy did she deliver! (Witness the first and last time I shall use the phrase boy howdy!)

She was very open and encouraging which made it really easy to talk to her. Also, my housemates dog jumped on my lap mid-conversation and because he is adorable it was a good ice-breaker! Prior to the phonecall she had sent me a short questionnaire to fill in. That way she could understand where I was at and we could use the time wisely. She offered me so many new tactics that I honestly felt a huge weight had been lifted when we hung up. My favourite was in terms of addressing the inner critic. That nasty voice that appears every time you look in the mirror or try something new or you know, breathe. Her response was to just tell that bitch to leave the room. And it is sooo satisfying! Obviously it is something you say silently - you don’t want to be that person outside McDonalds shouting “Get out the room Bitch!” to your own head. The inner voice is the boss level when it comes to body acceptance and I have found doing this as much as possible really useful. Harri Rose has also posted a new blog on how to get rid of the inner bitch voice and it’s full of useful tips which I will also be taking on board. You can read it here. She also offers so many different options in terms of coaching so check her out for something that suits you or you can try out a power session if you want a taster.

Taking that leap in December really inspired me to do something that I have been thinking of for a long time - posing for a life drawing class. Since I began this blog a lot of women who I would regard as body confident have recommended life drawing or just spending time naked as a great way to feel more comfortable and proud of your body. I had been hmming and hawing for a while over it and not really finding the right class out there that didn’t make my stomach go into knots. Then I came across Body Love Sketch Club on Instagram (Yes I spend too much time on Instagram - it’s on the list!).

Body Love Sketch Club run amazing workshops that focus on body positivity and learning to celebrate bodies in all their wondrous glory.

It is run by two of the most infectiously joyful people I have ever had the fortune of meeting - Ruby and Rosy. Both amazing in their own right creating work that challenges taboos as well as being highly experienced life drawing models and facilitators of life drawing classes. They created an environment from the off the felt so welcoming and free of any judgement that I instantly relaxed. We did a variety of exercises around different ways of drawing models at the beginning with Ruby and Rosy posing and then it was time for us to be drawn ourselves.

Now I had gone to the class with the mission to get naked and be drawn but when they offered us the choice I was taken aback. I had just assumed everyone was going to get naked. But the really wonderful thing was they create a line on the room with you standing on it depending on how much you want to get naked that day. You are then put into groups according to this so someone who doesn’t want to get naked or even model isn’t put in a group with people who do and potentially feel guilt/shame. So I reconsidered where I was at in that moment and I still definitely wanted to get naked. I mean I have worn a bikini - the next step is naked obviously.

I was put in a group with two lovely men. One who had done a lot of life drawing and modelling and one who had not. We were all so encouraging and sympathetic of each other it was really lovely. We each took it in turns to pose while the others sketched us. When it was my turn I found myself worrying about whether my pose was too annoying for them to draw rather than worrying about my bits. My main worry of the whole session was that my ineptitude at drawing may end up giving them a complex about their body! This worry was really interesting actually as it made me consider that being mean about my abilities is another way I have found to be mean to myself. Instead I should be grateful that I have hands that can pick up a pencil, hands that can draw no matter how woeful the result and hands that are lucky enough to have this experience.

So I told that voice criticising my ability to get out of the room. Silently of course.

When I first saw my drawings I was momentarily taken aback by my size but then I just absolutely loved the drawings. I couldn’t believe what beautiful drawings the guys had produced in such a short time and that they were of me standing in a room naked. I meant was a really heart warming moment. I really felt proud of myself. That never happens, let me tell you, so that was a big moment for me.

We spent the rest of the class doing a mix of activities - either pampering ourselves with some lovely hand massages and nail treatments or by writing a letter of gratitude to your body. Harri Rose had also suggested that I write a thank you letter to my body so I decided to spend my time doing this. This is partly why this blog is only being posted now. I wanted enough time to pass before I read it again. I have just opened it today and I thought it would be nice to share it with you.

Dear Body,

Last year I discovered how incredible you are and I felt so and that I had treated you horribly for so long but you forgave me. Thank you for that.

Thank you for so many things. Thank you for breathing. Thank you for eating. Thank you for figuring out how to function on minimum water and maximum gin. Thank you for allowing me to change. Thank you for protecting you and me. Thank you for letting me know when I am working too hard. Thank you for powering through when you may feel like you have nothing left. I have never had a friend who gives as much to me as you do. I think you are amazing and I promise to love and cherish you as much in return.

Please remind me when I am being a dick.

I love you.

Amy

x