Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

Roughly two years ago I started to lose my hair.

At first it came out in little strands but having fine hair that shed all my life meant that I didn't really take much notice. I started to worry when it started to fall out in bigger clumps but I just put it down to stress and washing my hair too often. Then I noticed the scales.

I was in the shower and I looked at a huge clump that had just come out in my hand and there were these big, yellowish scales on the top of each hair. I felt my scalp and was horrified that my whole head was covered in them. I felt like a lizard. I just sat down and had a good ole shower cry.

I had never really cared about my hair and don't spend much time looking after it. I wash it, blowdry it and maybe run a hair

straighteners over it every now and again so it was a big surprise how badly I took loosing my hair. Most mornings I would cry my eyes out as I tried to figure out new ways of styling my hair with the minimum comb over I had left. On the plus side, in the process I became extremely inventive with the use of a headscarf. I felt like everyone was looking at me all the time wondering who the gross lizard lady was and why she didn't wear a wig. I was freaking out about audiences spotting my thinning hair or worse my hair falling out in front of them.

To make matters worse, I had started to notice my scaly hair on tube seats when I got up so my life became a constant anxiety panic about where I was leaving hair and who was thinking I looked gross. I was single at the time too and trying to decide whether to tell one night stands about my hair loss or to just shimmy away awkwardly when their hands went to stroke it was a nightmare.

Visits to the GP shed no light on why it was happening – wasn't psoriasis, wasn't a fungal infection, wasn't low iron etc. I was trying everything and nothing was working. The thought of speaking to a hairdresser brought tears to my eyes. I didn't want some poor hairdresser to have to touch my scaly head and I was afraid they would suggest I'd have to shave it all off. I couldn't believe I was being so precious about my hair.

Fast forward to a few months ago when I met a lovely hairdresser who was super sympathetic about my hair loss and seemed so knowledgable. The scales had died down but I was still a bit nervous about having my hair cut as I still didn't have much hair to work with.

However, as a result of this project, I've started to really reflect on the health of my body and how I care for it. Looking after my body is now an act of gratitude and not vanity. So I booked an appointment and for the first time in two years I have had my hair cut. It feels amazing. It actually looks and feels thicker and I feel quite emotional at having hair again. Kizi was wonderful and really made me feel relaxed about my hair loss and worries about my lizard head. She has given me some excellent product recommendations and I am looking forward to my next appointment already.