Manspreading The Love

I remember having a chat with some friends of mine about ‘manspreading’ on the tube and how much we hate it. If you aren’t familiar with ‘manspreading’ let me explain.

It is a sitting phenomenon mostly visible on public transport where certain humans, the majority cis-men, decide that they need to sit with their legs at 120 degree angle or more, rather than hip width apart. Perhaps they have giant testicles or perhaps they are a giant testicle but either way they seem to have no problem encroaching on the space of the people next to them.

One of my friends stated that she had started sitting the same way as a kind of passive aggressive protest. The following are just some of the things that were said to her:

“Close your legs love.”

“That’s not a very ladylike way to sit.”

“Looking for something tonight?”.

In every trip I have taken on the tube (imagine at least 10 a week for ten years), I have never once heard anyone say anything of the sort to a cis-male spreader.

I applaud my friend for taking this stance and highlighting the differences in how we treat those who take up space but it made me think. Should we have to spread our legs wide to take up space? Should we have to be more assertive in the boardrooms? Should we have to apologise less?

Why is it that I have to become more like a "man” to ensure that my input is valued? Why can’t cis-men be encouraged to possess ways of being that are traditionally feminine?

Imagine if more cis-men understood the power of a good apology and how that can bond you with another person/group and encourage you to learn, grow and achieve together. Imagine if more cis-men considered cooperation to be a business or political tactic that would propel them forward. Imagine if more cis-men understood that by sitting with their feet hip width apart that everyone else can sit comfortably and their balls will be fine.

I know that this month I have spoken about “Taking Up Space” and how it may feel like I am saying “but not cis-men” which may be hurtful to some. For me, I am trying to encourage those who may have felt the need to shrink previously to stretch and reach and find their way back to the natural space they take up in the world. So it makes sense to me that for those who may have stretched themselves super wide to make their mark on the world, cis-male or otherwise, to perhaps consider if their behaviour is allowing everyone around them to take up their natural space or if it's causing them to shrink.

I feel that there is space for all of us in this world - some of us just need to make a bit more room. If I am wrong, I will happily apologise.