The Lost Horizon and Getting Naked

One of my favourite gigs to do are festivals. You get to perform to crowds who love to interact and play with you, you are surrounded by and make friends with people who are in a positive and supportive mood and you get to dance and party everyday! Since doing festivals I have been intrigued by the Lost Horizon area; a nomadic spa that pops up at various festivals.

It advertises hot showers, massages and a sauna – heaven at a festival basically! Everything they do is very environmental aware and friendly and they really believe in community living. The whole experience on offer really appealed to me and every year I’ve been tempted to become a part of it (there’s a small fee to pay for a weekend pass) but the only thing that put me off was the nudity. Most, if not all, of the people who visit Lost Horizon spend their time there naked. Every now and again you’d see a naked person flying high in the air having the time of their lives on the trampoline behind the fence or you’d see people playing frisbee outside. Everyone was always happy, comfortable and nonchalant about their nakedness and thoughI wanted to be that free in my own skin I would put my head down and walk on past. Another festival would close without me going in.

However, this year was different. I was performing at Secret Garden Party in a venue called Palais de Boob. Palais de Boob was set up as a venue with a feminist agenda. Lots of female performers, DJ”s, all female build crew and even a neon ‘Free the Nipple’ sign. On the first day I was quite intimidated as I was surrounded by lots of young, skinny girls not wearing much, covered in glitter and generally being fabulous. I felt like a frumpy gardener in my wellies and jumper. Then, thanks to some amazing poetry, we started having a conversation about body image and Lost Horizon. Some of the beautiful women had used the showers and sauna etc. in their bikini’s because they were worried about how they would look. (THE SKINNY PRETTY GIRLS THOUGHT THIS!! The world is fecked). Anyway, once in there, they said they felt silly and that by wearing a bikini they were sort of insulting the whole ethos of the place.

All these factors combined, as well as this blog, I decided that I was going to do it this year. I decided to go after my performance slot and wore my bikini under my clothes so I wouldn’t chicken out. As soon as I was in the dressing room I knew that I couldn’t leave the dressing room wearing it. My fear of insulting people is far greater than my fear of releasing my wobbly bits to the world. Yes, that’s right folks, Amy Fleming got naked.

I first used the shower and it was glorious. Looking out across fields as you are enjoying a hot shower is one of the most wonderful, grounding things you can do. I really feel if we all did that every morning our mental health would be in a much better place. I then did a weird half shame, half excited, tiptoe run and entered the sauna. It was packed. Naked people everywhere so I had to awkwardly sit myself in at the back on the floor. I sat there for a moment listening to everyone chat trying not to focus on my belly rolls which had tripled in size and were seemingly egtting larger by the second. Then someone left and then I had a choice – get up and walk to the empty seat in full view of everyone or stay at the back hiding me and my belly rolls. Again, I figuratively smacked myself in the face and made the walk to take the seat. Obviously, no one was bothered or even paid attention. I leaned back feeling very smug with myself and burnt my back on the red hot timber behind. Rule number one of sauna – don’t lean on the walls. I sat there and in about 30 seconds I was super comfortable. I really didn’t care that I was naked or that my stomach had rolls. I just joined in the conversation and it was lovely. People would come in and out and I’d have a quick glance at them and maybe assess their choice of grooming and then just go back to way I was.

Then two people I knew came in. Instantly my stomach tightened but then they sat down and an Irishman brought the conversation to a great place again and the knot went away. We had a lovely time popping out to use the plunge pool (FREEZING! AGH!) and then back into the sauna. It was heaven. It was only when I was getting dressed and had to put back on my bikini that I felt uncomfortable. I really didn’t like what bits of me it pushed into weird places.

It was a huge surprise to me how comfortable I was being naked and how uncomfortable I was in my bikini after. I think it’s because the experience was amongst people who were so comfortable in their nudity that it didn’t seem like a big deal. It was just a really comfortable, free and relaxing way of being. There was nothing sexual or sexualised about it. In contrast I think the wearing of a bikini is in highly sexualised in advertising and our culture in general and that’s what’s in my head. The next step for me is to separate the idea of a bikini as a sexualised, fashion thing and more of a practical beachwear thing and I think then I won’t give monkeys about how I look in it.

#feminism #festival #bodyimage #nudity #selfdevelopment #loveyourself #bikinibody #selfesteem #bodypositive