Well, Blow Me!

Taking up space in a world where I am mainly spending it within the same four walls has meant a lot of my musing on this topic has begun to focus inward. The space inside. What is the space between our organs filled with? What’s the space inside our organs like? Is it hollow in places or just a squishy, gooey mess? Does the blood through our veins like canals flow through tunnels or does it fill the whole tube? How does our breath find space?

I have been thinking mostly about the breath actually **ACTOR WANKER ALARM**. I haven’t formally trained so my progress with breath and voice work has been through a series of sporadic workshops, a short evening course, a fantastic year of monthly workshops with a fab all-female company as well as some excellent 1 to 1 training with a brilliant voice teacher. It’s been a glorious mix of approaches with each starting with the breath, sitting on a chair or lying on the floor and then moving into using the voice and perhaps standing. With each session I discovered something new about my body and my voice and I loved it but it sort of stayed there. I found it tricky to develop my own home practice, mainly because I am very self conscious and I didn’t want to be humming and aahing while my housemates made dinner.

However, me and my partner are now in our own space and this month I have been doing a 30 day yoga challenge (Yoga with Adriene) which is focusing on the breath. It’s been fantastic going at the breath using the whole body first while feeling how the breath supports the movement. As the tension leaves parts of my body I can physically feel the breath move in and use that space. Kind of like when you get into your bed after putting clean sheets on and you roll around it because it feels so nice or is that just me?

So often I have tried to breathe into tense patches in my body to try and relax them. Not sure where I picked that up from - maybe a masseuse on TV? But this approach of stretching and moving a little each day is allowing my muscles to a) be used for the first time ever and b) relax. I am creating space and the breath is dancing it.

It’s also weird that one of her sessions was actually based on “Taking Up Space” (LOVE when that stuff happens!), and it was very interesting to stand splayed like a star in my bedroom and see how that felt to take up that much space. I have to say it felt really good to let my body stretch and take up all it needed though I doubt it would be very much appreciated on the tube. I really noticed it the most in my lower back. I was really surprised to find how tense my lower back is. I always thought I was able to breathe into my lower back and it was fine but, honestly, since doing this yoga challenge and more and more tension is being released, it feels like I am drinking a glass of water after chomping on some chewing gum down there - if you’ve had that feeling.

I don’t think I would have noticed these small changes if I hadn’t been doing it consistently. I have been trying to keep up and do it everyday but you know, life, so I have missed a day here and there. However, I am really enjoying seeing the progress and how good it feels to let my breath and body take up space so I have now made a promise to myself to try and carve out some time everyday for body and breath work and watch as, hopefully, they revel in the space I give them.